I’ve been playing phone tag with staff from the center all weekend. This afternoon, I finally got in touch with the clinical director. She wants me to come in tomorrow morning for a meeting. She wanted me to come in for program, but all I could agree to, through tears and anxiety, was a meeting.
This morning, depression and apathy had set in.
I called the treatment center back after missing a call from them. They want me to come back. Just the thought sent me into a full blown panic attack.
I’m struggling to balance my eating. Everything in me wants to restrict, but I’m trying to not lose all the progress of over a month in PHP, but so much of me just doesn’t care.
I did manage to eat a small bowl of cereal this morning. Not my full meal plan, but something is better than nothing, I suppose.
I’m considering doing “snacks” from my meal plan for my meals, so I’d be having 6 snacks a day. That seems much more attainable. Especially since the snacks are so meal-like anyway.
In good news, it’s been 2 weeks since I last binged and purged, and 55 days since I self-harmed.