I’ve been having floods of emotion, moments of panic, periods of numbness since learning I’ll be starting partial hospitalization this week. I was told I would get more information today, and didn’t, so that added to my anxiety. In an effort to help myself calm down, I decided to art.
The first one I did was “How I Feel Now”. I am the center dot, retracted into myself, dark, trying just to hang on amidst the emotions surrounding me. Each level of emotion is spiky because it feels spiky and jarring. The bright colors in the center are “activating” emotions like anxiety, panic, excitement, and motivation and are like an explosion outward. The darker colors around them are immobilizing emotions like depression, overwhelmed, and fear, and are like an implosion, pushing inward.
The next one was my interpretation of what my emotions would look like if I were calm. It made me think of waves, or a gently flowing river.