Daily Archives: January 14, 2015

Apathy and listlessness

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list·less [list-lis]

adjective

  1. having or showing little or no interest in anythinglanguidspiritlessindifferent

I am listless. I have no interest in anything. I don’t want to DO anything. I’m bored, but literally nothing sounds interesting. I feel grey. Colorless. Lifeless. I want to give up, but I don’t feel capable. Even that doesn’t hold my interest tonight. Maybe I’ll sleep. Maybe I’ll just lie in bed and stare are the ceiling.

Stupid

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I feel stupid. Stupid and used. Manipulated. Lied to.

Mostly stupid.

Hurt. My heart physically hurts.

Blind. Foolish.

But also like I deserved. Every last bit of it.

And so, very stupid.

I guess it’s fair

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The boy told me he was only in a relationship with me because he felt depressed not being in a relationship, but he doesn’t really have feelings for me.

I guess he got me back for breaking his heart by breaking mine.