list·less [list-lis]
—adjective
I am listless. I have no interest in anything. I don’t want to DO anything. I’m bored, but literally nothing sounds interesting. I feel grey. Colorless. Lifeless. I want to give up, but I don’t feel capable. Even that doesn’t hold my interest tonight. Maybe I’ll sleep. Maybe I’ll just lie in bed and stare are the ceiling.
I feel stupid. Stupid and used. Manipulated. Lied to.
Mostly stupid.
Hurt. My heart physically hurts.
Blind. Foolish.
But also like I deserved. Every last bit of it.
And so, very stupid.
The boy told me he was only in a relationship with me because he felt depressed not being in a relationship, but he doesn’t really have feelings for me.
I guess he got me back for breaking his heart by breaking mine.
a2eternity 