I have a doctor’s appointment in the morning.
I have a pattern. The night before an appointment with my doctor, I freak out. I worry about my weight and about talking about my disordered behaviors and about being confronted with the risks and about being told I should really be in treatment and I just start to panic.
Then, in response, I tend to do something stupid like overdose on laxatives, making myself too sick to get out of bed and go to my appointment.
I purged earlier and I took a handful of laxatives, but I’m hoping it wasn’t too much. I really need to get to this appointment since I missed the last one.
I’m starting to feel overwhelmed by life again. I’m not working on my classes and I’m not working and I just want to tell the doctor I’m suicidal so I can hang out in the psych ward for a couple days and pretend the world doesn’t exist.
Instead, I’ll binge and purge on Cheetos and try to make it to my appointment.
Please tell your doctor what’s going on and get the support you need! If you get a doctor’s note you can probably get extensions on assignments, too. You deserve to feel bette as your number 1 priority right now–the rest will follow naturally. ❤ all the best as you face your fears tomorrow
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You need to be honest with your doctor. He/she probably already knows you are not coping as evidenced by your missed appointments.
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