Daily Archives: October 23, 2014

Psychiatric Appointment


Saw the psychiatrist today.

My dad insisted on taking me to lunch beforehand. We finished right before my appointment, so we rushed over to the address I had written down.

When I arrived, I was completely panicked  and the wait in the lobby was torturous. I slipped into the women’s restroom and purged.

After what felt like hours fidgeting in the waiting room, I was called back for vitals. I wasn’t aware they were going to take my vitals. My panic rose. Had I known I would be weighed, I never would have eaten lunch.

I then met with the psychiatrist. It was a long appointment, almost 2 hours.  I hated it. I hate talking about myself. I hate talking about the past. I hate trying to explain my thinking and mood and psychoses.

He asked about all my past treatment, about all my self-harm and suicide attempts, about every medication I’ve ever been prescribed, about things I’ve never even thought about.

He wants me back in treatment. Or, in his words, “long-term counseling with a treatment team”.

I hate the idea. I more than hate the idea. However, I told him I would give it a try.