In which I consider consuming rat poison

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I think my fibromyalgia meds are messing with my head. This medication is also a depression med, and I don’t always react well to those. The last couple weeks since being on it have been hard mentally and emotionally. I’m back to the extreme self-loathing I was having a few months ago when I was on it before. Back to wanting to peal my skin off. Back trying to stab myself.

Last night, I hadn’t slept in a couple nights and I was really struggling. I started wondering about taking rat poison. Not to “harm” myself, exactly, but to make myself sick and unable to eat. I googled what rat poison does when ingested and I looked it up on Amazon to find the price.

I was so close to buying some. So close.

I also tried (for probably the 20th time) to find a place to buy tapeworm eggs online. I still can’t find anything, unless I go to Mexico. *sigh*

I see my doctor on Thursday. I plan to let her know that I think this med is bad for me. I’ll update you after.

 

And now for today’s manicure:
cupoftea

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