Forever Alone


I’ve determined, after another ridiculous conversation with another man who is offended that I don’t want to take my future husband’s last name, that I will be forever alone. 

It’s not just my love of my own last name, either. It’s my desire to adopt instead of birth children. It’s my determination to homeschool my children. It’s being a Christian who thinks gay people should be allowed to marry. It’s having a stupid bulimic brain filled with arbitrary rules and irrational fears. It’s so many things. 


5 responses »

  1. This is so random but i feel as though I need to tell you how much having your blog on my reader affects me. You’re the only other being I know that purges. Knowing that someone else has that thing in common with me prevents me from doing stupid things (cutting) because I know now that I would never want you to do these things so why should I?
    And I’ve always wanted to adopt children too!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think all your instincts are right. You might just be in the wrong culture, or have the wrong friends.
    I am coming back into Western culture after a long absence, and I am still not used to the last name thing. Or birthdays. But anyway.
    You stick to your guns. The people you are talking to are not your people. Your people are out there. I, for one, agree with your preferences and opinions on these issues.

    Liked by 1 person

      • I left purdah a few years ago, which means I was not allowed to go out without permission and a chaperone. Some of it was from an abusive partner, but all of it was Shariah-compliant Islam.
        I can pass perfectly, because I am local, but the culture is harder to become reacquainted with.
        I am trying to be social IRL, but I was isolated for years, and have become mostly introverted.
        Anxiety does not help with culture shock.

        Liked by 1 person

Join the conversation

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s