“What do you want for your birthday?”

I don’t actually ever get asked this because no one buys me birthday presents. But if someone did, and I was being honest, this is what I would want.

• A battery for my scale
• More laxatives
• Effective diet pills
• A loaf of bread, preferably one with Parmesan and garlic baked inside.
• A variety of cheeses to eat with that bread
• ALL the (vegetarian) Chinese food
• Bendy straws
• A cake and some ice cream that no one else knows about
• Time alone to eat (and purge) all this food.
• Not to have to spend any family time feeling awkward about myself and feeling like I’m being watched or judged and not comparing myself to my sisters
• Gift cards for Barnes and Noble so I can get new books on my Nook.

So basically, out of 11 items, one of them is “normal” and healthy. But those are truly what I would ask for if I could be honest.