Daily Archives: July 2, 2014

“What do you want for your birthday?”

Standard

I don’t actually ever get asked this because no one buys me birthday presents. But if someone did, and I was being honest, this is what I would want.

  • A battery for my scale
  • More laxatives
  • Effective diet pills
  • A loaf of bread, preferably one with Parmesan and garlic baked inside.
  • A variety of cheeses to eat with that bread
  • ALL the (vegetarian) Chinese food
  • Bendy straws
  • A cake and some ice cream that no one else knows about
  • Time alone to eat (and purge) all this food.
  • Not to have to spend any family time feeling awkward about myself and feeling like I’m being watched or judged and not comparing myself to my sisters
  • Gift cards for Barnes and Noble so I can get new books on my Nook.

So basically, out of 11 items, one of them is “normal” and healthy. But those are truly what I would ask for if I could be honest.