I got home and my dad asked, in a very concerned voice, “Have you eaten at all today?”
I admitted I had not and he looked more concerned, so I decided to eat some carrots.
Instead of just telling him how crappy I felt and how upset my stomach was, I tried to alleviate his concern. With carrots.
I ALWAYS forget how hard raw carrots are on my stomach. Always. So, I ate them, and quickly felt the stomach pain.
After feeling terrible for a bit, I decided to head to bed. When I got to my room, the realization of what I had done hit me. I ate food. I ate food and DIDN’T purge. I ate food I didn’t purge on the same day I didn’t work out and when I didn’t take laxatives this evening. It’s just sitting inside me, decaying, and making me fatter.
My mind went into full-out freak out mode.
“Shit, shit, shit! I can’t believe I did that! I’m going to gain so much weight tonight! I’m going to blow up like a balloon! What was I thinking?? How do I fix this!?”
Over carrots.
And even though I know how silly that seems, I’m still freaking out.
I’ve been there also. Just keep trying, that’s really all any of us can do. Eventually you’ll have a week where you realize that you’ve eaten without using any purging techniques and life just kept on going without anything dramatic happening.
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I want to believe you.
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Have faith in yourself, that is the beginning of believing. When you’re going through Hell, the only way out is to keep on fighting. Also, listen to all of those who believe in you, both here and in your day-to-day life. I believe you can beat this.
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Thank you. ❤
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after the day I have had, I am not pleased you are like this, but I am relieved it isnt just me. xx
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❤ ❤ ❤
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Seems like you gave your digestive system a really tough task in the raw carrot.
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Yeah, it did not appreciate that.
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