Carrots will kill you

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I got home and my dad asked, in a very concerned voice, “Have you eaten at all today?” 

I admitted I had not and he looked more concerned, so I decided to eat some carrots. 

Instead of just telling him how crappy I felt and how upset my stomach was, I tried to alleviate his concern. With carrots. 

I ALWAYS forget how hard raw carrots are on my stomach. Always. So,  I ate them, and quickly felt the stomach pain. 

After feeling terrible for a bit, I decided to head to bed. When I got to my room, the realization of what I had done hit me. I ate food. I ate food and DIDN’T purge. I ate food I didn’t purge on the same day I didn’t work out and when I didn’t take laxatives this evening. It’s just sitting inside me, decaying, and making me fatter. 

My mind went into full-out freak out mode. 

“Shit, shit, shit! I can’t believe I did that! I’m going to gain so much weight tonight! I’m going to blow up like a balloon! What was I thinking?? How do I fix this!?”

Over carrots. 

And even though I know how silly that seems, I’m still freaking out. 

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8 responses »

  1. I’ve been there also. Just keep trying, that’s really all any of us can do. Eventually you’ll have a week where you realize that you’ve eaten without using any purging techniques and life just kept on going without anything dramatic happening.

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