Good morning!

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What do you mean it’s 10:00 at night?

I came home and slept allllll day. It was magical. After sleeping an hour a night, and some nights not at all, my body and mind so needed this.

I’ve been trying to be gentle with myself today. I haven’t taken any laxatives or diet pills since I got home. I also listened to my body and slept instead of getting up to exercise like my brain kept telling me to do.

I haven’t been able to eat today, a combination of the nausea that still won’t go away and just being very weak earlier today. I have managed some water, though.

In the ER, they gave me 3 different kinds of medications for the nausea, but none of them worked. I took one of my own when I got home this morning, no change.

The reason I was in the ER is because last night, while getting some water in the kitchen, I felt like I was going to pass out. I sat down, having trouble breathing and seeing, chest pain, severe nausea, pain in my left shoulder blade and down my left arm.

After the worst of it passed, I told a nurse friend what was going on and she said to call an ambulance, which I did. On the way to the hospital, I had a “cardiac event”. I never did find out what that meant, I was too out of it to ask.

So, anyway, I spent about 10 hours at the ER altogether. I was hooked up to a heart monitor the whole time. They determined that my symptoms were the result of low potassium and magnesium.

So I’m home now. I exchanged emails with the intake coordinator for the eating disorder clinic this morning while still at the ER and she said that this trip to the ER is likely to help get me covered for PHP as it shows I have a medical need for it. She said that my insurance is supposed to cover 100% of the PHP if it’s shown to be medically necessary.

I had to sign a release of information for the hospital I was in this morning so she can use that in my case, and she also requested a letter from the behavioral health guy who suggested inpatient in the first place. In the morning I am going to the doctor for medical clearance to do the PHP, and afterward is my intake evaluation with the ED center.

Things are rolling along nicely. The intake coordinator made it sound like I might be able to start the PHP in the next few days, which is great because I thought I’d have to wait until next week.

Last night scared me. And I think I needed that. I am determined to fight this. I want to go and get the support I need and get past this so I can have a real life and a future. I know it’s not going to be easy, but I have found the will to fight.

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