Because I took way too many laxatives today and am having severe stomach cramps and diarrhea.
Also, what you didn’t realize is that picture above is of me. I have the sexiest stomach cramps ever.
And now for a man with three buttocks. No, wait, I mean the TMI warning. I’m seriously considering just putting up a permanent TMI warning for my blog. By the way, I’m about to talk about poo.
Nausea and cramping aren’t the only things going on a la laxatives. (I don’t technically think that’s the correct way to use “a la” but it sounded nice in my head.) As often happens when I take too many, my pills from this morning were in there. That’s super useful.
Anyway, the pain and nausea are so bad that I’m afraid it’s going to be another night of uncontrollable vomiting. I really hope not. Like, really really hope not.
Please sleep instead, body. Please…