Gotta love laxative abuse. I’m lying in bed, minding my own business, when the next thing I know I’m lying in a puddle of my own poo.
Yeah, the life of a bulimic is very glamorous.
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a2eternity 
I dont know why we do this… but you are not a bad person and there is hope.
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Thank you.
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Haha! Totally been there. *shudder*. I’ve had that happen in public, too! It was contained and not visible, but I was mortified.
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Same. I have way too many embarrassing laxative stories that I’m not sure why I continue to take them.
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Because bulimia sucks, and laxatives are addicting, and the feeling of being empty is such a high, and our minds are obsessive, lol.
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Oh, riiiight.
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You forgot? Silly, you. 😛
Sometimes I wish I could just forget, ha.
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Haha, my brain’s not working very well right now. I really need to sleep tonight. And to be able to eat something.
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Eating something would be good. I should do that, too. I’ve had a banana, 2 rice cakes, 1/3 cup yogurt, and lettuce. Blah.
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Yes, you should eat something. (This coming from the girl who hasn’t eaten in 2 days…)
It’s actually frustrating not being able to eat. If I choose not to, great. But not being able to, I’ve lost that element of control.
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Wait. Question. Forgive me if I missed something, but why aren’t you able to eat?
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I don’t knowww. I haven’t been able to get myself to eat the last couple days.
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If you’ve eaten nothing, how are the laxatives even working? What’s left in your system then to crap out? Crapping water sucks – and taking a laxative to do that isn’t the ideal use of them.
Are you physically sick with a stomach bug or something? Or rather repulsed by food and the idea of even putting any in your mouth?
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I think I’m mostly passing bile and water. Pleasant, I know.
It’s definitely more like the second one, the thought of eating seems really unappealing and having anything in my mouth makes me nauseous.
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That’s really interesting. No b/p urges? I guess that’s an upside. But restricting isn’t great – at least, that’s what they all proclaim to me.
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Yeah, no urges at all. This hasn’t happened really since the switch from anorexia to bulimia.
Don’t get me wrong, I prefer restricting over binging and purging in general. I just don’t know what’s going on right now.
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Same preference here. I’m going up in weight though, which is freaking me out, and I hate it, which makes me want to say ‘screw it – I’m already fat’ and just eat until I can’t move. So stupid.
How long ago did you switch over?
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About 8 years ago. Eight long years…
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I started purging to cover up my eating disorder because I was getting a lot of comments about not eating, so I started purging so I could eat in front of people. For quite a while, I was still restricting and also purging, but then I slowly started binging, and then more and more often until all I did was binge and purge.
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Makes sense. I started abusing laxatives when my parents picked me up from college, saw my thoroughly underweight frame, and nearly force-fed me all summer. I can’t tell you how many times I tried to make myself vomit during that time period, to no avail. I walked/ran everywhere – I never used a car – and let the laxatives work their not-so-magic magic.
I started binging when I literally woke up to myself stuffing my face with the contents of the fridge after months of nutritional deprivation. It was one of those horrible food dreams that actually materialised. Awful. I couldn’t stop. That was my first binge.
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Ugh, I hate when people try to feed you. One of my sisters once pushed a spoon of ice cream into my mouth. I freaked out.
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That’s awful!
Speaking of awful, my coworker’s son goes to my school, and his girlfriend spends a lot of time at that coworker’s house. She was complaining to another coworker that the only thing she dislikes is that the girl doesn’t eat much. Comments included “She eats like a bird!”, “I made a whole chicken, freakin’ eat, girl!”, or “What, do you not like it or something? Take more than a bite of it…”
I was just sitting there cringing in my mind, knowing that this girl would be mortified to hear her talking like that, and knowing how hard it was for that girl to even show up to meals at that house…
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Yeah, I worked at a natural food co-op in the past and during my lunch break, some of the other people were talking about eating disorders and a woman who was bulimic and would come in and buy binge food (apparently one of them knew the girl’s mother, who had told about the bulimia) and the whole conversation was terrible, but I was too mortified to say anything.
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Ugh. It’s annoying what some people say. I know I can’t avoid it altogether, but this is why I split up shopping trips or food orders from restaurants. I don’t want to look like I’m eating a lot, so I take great pains to make myself look normal.
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Yeah, I totally get that.
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I was just talking with that same co-worker over lunch as I pulled out my snack-sized back of lettuce. Plain lettuce. And of course she commented. “Is that all you’re eating? No wonder you’re so skinny.” And 8 minutes ago when a mid-day 10 minute break started, I pulled out the lettuce to finish it. She looked at me, shook her head, and goes “You girls.”
Thank you. I don’t comment on your leftover 4 pieces of pizza, brownie, and pepsi for lunch. Why do you think you can comment on mine? Sigh.
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Exactly!
When I worked at an art supply store, I would take 2 15-minute breaks instead of a lunch and a break. During one break I remember distinctly, I was struggling to eat a boiled egg white and a couple ladies were in there eating brownies and chips.
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And I don’t even know why I’m still taking the laxatives when I’m not eating anything. Compulsion, I guess.
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Yeah, then all that’s left is white liquid that seems (and feels) like part of your intestinal lining… Not fun.
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Wow, your honesty is amazing but I don’t understand why you do this. But then again, I never understood why I did the irrational things that I did in the past either.
That joke is very amusing.
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I don’t really understand it either…
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