In just over a month, I turn 30.
I can’t believe this.
I always thought I would have accomplished certain things by age 30. Graduating college, marrying, having children. Not being bulimic or depressed.
I haven’t accomplished any of that.
In fact, off the top of my head, I can’t tell you a single thing I haveaccomplished.
I don’t have a job and I can’t work. I’m in school, but I’m not doing great because bulimia is kicking my butt right now. I live with my parents again. I don’t even have the energy to set up my exercise bike.
I have never minded getting older. I was never worried about wrinkles or grey hairs. Being asked my age never bothered me.
However, all of a sudden, about 10 minutes ago, it hit me. I will be 30. And for some reason I can’t explain, I am terrified at the prospect.
a2eternity 
I am a decade older than you. Thirty is the new twenty, for real.
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I know that feeling too well, I am older then you… YOu have hope stay strong
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Thank you
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I am more than a decade older than 30! But I can tell tell you that I cried the entire day on my 30th bday. I think we all think about the things we haven’t done when we reach milestone dates…and it is kind of like losing weight, nothing is ever god enough.
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My brother and I share the same birthday, which sometimes helps me not focus on me so much. I’m hoping that will be the case, because I really am feeling uneasy.
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That’s cool that you have the same birthday. And take a deep breath and know you can do start a new chapter and 30 can be the beginning of it. It’s all good.
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Thanks, I like that perspective.
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Yeah, kinda like those positive quotes though?! I used to hate when people told me to fake it until you make it, but that really is part of the battle.
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I really am going to try to take this one in.
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*smile* Good, because that’s what it is! When is your bday?
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July 3rd
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Think of how much better you might be feeling by then! Recovery is the best gift you can give to yourself. Go For It!
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Thirty just sounds so undeniably adult. When I turned 30 last year I was so mad at myself for still having a “teen issue” like anarexia. I always figured I would just grow out of it, and leaving my 20s made me actually really realize that this is actually my life, which is disappointing and hard. I love your blog and I love your writing. I’m sure you’ve done more than you realize, even if it’s hard to see that right now.
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Thank you ❤
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