Today.
I know I should be, but I’m very excited.
The last two times I abused laxatives, my parents searched my things, took them, and threw them away. Because I’m 15.
This time, I thought long and hard about how and where to find them and how not to be found out. Because that’s what people with eating disorders do, they just get more and more creative.
I also got an exercise bike.
I get I’m determined to make this relapse count.
I hadn’t put into word, but that definitely seems to be what I’m doing.
I didn’t have the energy to set it up in my room today, but hopefully this weekend I’ll get everything settled. I just need to get back into my clothes in the box in my closet labeled “too small”. Clothes I love, but can’t wear anymore. Clothes I’m not even close to fitting anymore.
But I will get back there.
a2eternity 
I really miss my laxatives too. But I’m trying to think of what I don’t miss about them. That list is really small, I know. You sound so excited, and a massive part of me would be too if I started the laxatives again, but I can’t have those same happy feelings while watching someone hurt themselves.
Hug. Be gentle today.
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Yeah, eating disorders are so strange. I would be really sad if a friend said they started using laxative. But for me, I’m just excited.
I hope this wasn’t too triggering for you. ❤
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Of course it sets thoughts going, but I can beat them tonight I think. Plus, I would have to go out in the cold again to go and get some, which sounds awful considering I’m wrapped in blankets in my bed with a kitten on my lap.
Tip: (you probably know this, but just in case you don’t) – taking laxatives 2 hours after last eating is when they are most effective. And definitely avoid dairy after taking them for a half-hour, otherwise you get the worst cramps ever. …And sometimes I purposely did that so I’d be in pain… So messed up.
Hugs!
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Thanks, love. ❤
P.S. Don't take laxatives
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Is your infection healed completely?
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Not yet. But it’s SOOOO much better!
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Glad to hear that!
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How did that happen in the first place??
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No clue! The doctor said that about 90% of the time, they don’t know how the infection started. I probably just mistook the symptoms of my infection with the symptoms of my Ed until it got to my bloodstream and I was like, Hey! Something’s wrong here.
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this is like looking into my wifes mind
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Does it help any?
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It does yes , I realize how little I understood my wifes illness and I’m going to avidly read your blog to learn more about how I can perhaps help if If I ever see her again
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Your 15 you are supposed to grow
How do you take the laxatives
I’m taking one before each meal
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