Ed, Mia, and Ana

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I hate when people talk about “divorcing Ed”. I tried reading that book Life Without Ed and I couldn’t stand it. I don’t know why, but personifying my eating disorder just irritates me.

I don’t have friends named Ana or Mia. I don’t have an abusive boyfriend named Ed. I do have an eating disorder and it does make me feel crazy sometimes, but the “voices” in my head telling me to not eat, or to purge, or how worthless I am, these are not a separate entity. And the last thing I need it to start acting/thinking like I have separate people in my head.

Maybe it stems from the fact that, as a child, I was terrified of developing multiple personalities. (Yes, that was a real fear of mine.) Or maybe it’s just because it comes across as so silly and, in a way, childish.

I don’t mean to offend anyone who feels that personifying their eating disorder helps them. If it helps you, if you like it, by all means!

But please, when you’re talking to me about my eating disorder, don’t call it Ed or Ana or Mia. Don’t talk about it like it’s a real person. And please don’t ask my to hold conversations with it.

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7 responses »

  1. I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree. These are parts of my own internal dialogue. They are parts of who I am, not separate entities. It annoys me too. Surely if we are to get well then we have to listen to what these parts of our conscious mind are telling us rather than pretend they don’t belong to us. x

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  2. I am SO glad I am not the only one who feels this way! I had a therapist who talked about “Ed” and her signature e-mail was always “make it a good day”…she lasted 3 sessions. WTH, maybe I am in a bad mood, and like you, I don’t know “Ed”!!! I have and ED but not another person. I kinda used to be afraid of becoming Sybil. LoL

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  3. I’m weirded out by having conversations with ‘ED’. I, like you, read Life Without Ed, and part of me thought it was insane. However, what it did for me was helped me identify the phrases that go through my head that are unhealthy. For so long, I thought the way I thought, and I didn’t know any better. Now I know that I can figure out and replace the ‘unhealthy’ thoughts with more constructive ones. That’s what Jenni’s book taught me.

    I’ve never had a psychologist tell me to speak to ‘ED’, and I’m positive I would refuse if that happened. I’ll celebrate a victory by saying “Totally smashed ED today,” or something along those lines, but I don’t think I could ‘talk to my eating disorder like it’s an abusive boyfriend’. I’ve had one of those, and my eating disorder isn’t like that. Just sayin’…

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  4. I write “ED” or “Ed” as an abbreviation for “eating disorder” but I do not feel the need to personify it. Those books annoy the ever living crap out of me. I am glad that they have helped some people, but they wind me up. I haven’t even been able to finish reading them.

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