1. I purged about an hour after eating. I didn’t purge because I as trying to remove calories, I as purging to get that damn food out of my stomach.
I do this a lot: purging to remove food instead of calories.
Honestly, a lot of the time, I don’t care about the calories in terms of purging. I tend to assume that after I eat it, it counts. I have no definitive way of telling how many calories will be absorbed and how many will be purged, so they just all count.
I just hate that feeling of having food in my stomach.
Sometimes I try to wait it out. It rarely works. I’ve purged several hours after eating. At that point, I don’t even know if it’s a physical feeling I’m trying to rid myself of or a psychological feeling. The knowing that I didn’t purge.
2. Sometimes I don’t even try to purge everything. I just purge until I get a certain feeling in my stomach and body. There have been times I’ve known there’s still some food in there, but I just stop because I achieved what I was looking for.
Strangely, other time I need to get everything out, taking extra precautions to make sure I do. (I won’t go into that because I don’t like giving people ideas.)
3. My desire to exercise doesn’t outweigh the pain and fatigue from my fibromyalgia. I am incredibly lazy.
I used to spend hours in the gym. I used to walk/run miles each day. Now, I’m doing well if I walk to the bus stop half a mile away. I consider walking around the store to get binge food a workout. (Though, don’t get me wrong, I’ve spent an hour or more walking around the store being indecisive.)
I could keep going, I have a long list of reasons why I’m “not really bulimic”. However, these are the 3 main ones that bother me the most. It’s not uncommon to bent over the toilet and think to myself, “I’m not really bulimic.”