I was threatened with hospitalization today.
I was also told that my insurance doesn’t want to approve any more time because they’re not seeing enough improvement, so clearly the treatment isn’t working.
Also, one night a week is family night where people’s friends and/or family come in to learn more about eating disorders and how to be more effective support. I haven’t had anyone go yet because everyone either works or has school that night, or just refuses to go. My insurance sees this as I’m not reaching out for support so I don’t want to recover. So, if no one comes this week, they’re cutting me off.
They also want me to get labs.
I just want to throw things at them.
On another note, I did agree in counseling today to bring in my self-harm items tomorrow and leave them there. I think I’m also going to take my scale because it seems to be broken and is just causing me way more anxiety and frustration than it normally does.
We went to Old Chicago for dinner tonight. I hated it. I want to explain why, but I’m mentally exhausted and not sure I can.
Tomorrow, I’m getting coffee with one of the other ladies in treatment. I’m nervous, but also looking forward to it.
Now to not engage in any behaviors for the next week.