I really do.
My family got together this afternoon for a picnic in the park. We had lots of food, and played games. I enjoyed the games, I enjoyed spending time with my family. I did not enjoy the food.
I had planned out beforehand what I would eat. Then I ignored it completely and ended up binging and purging. Then doing it again.
I had also binged and purged this morning, and I’m going to do it again as soon as my food finishes cooking.
The holiday combined with memories that have been coming up that I have worked so hardto suppress makes for a very anxious me.
I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this up.
Tomorrow I have counseling. I know I’m going to hear about how much I’ve binged and purged. We’re also going out to eat at a restaurant tomorrow night. Ugh.