So there I am, head in the toilet, when my phone rings. It was the treatment center. I pause and answer. I’ve been approved for one more week of treatment.
I’m still in the evening program, they won’t approve partial hospitalization. I’m beginning to believe it just won’t happen. So that’s whatever.
My family is having an Easter picnic on Sunday. I need to figure out what to eat so that it fits in my meal plan.
I also need to start following my meal plan.
I have so much homework this weekend, both for school and for treatment. One of the things I need to do is write out reasons I want to recover. I’m struggling with this. What if I can’t figure out why I want to recover? The only thing I’ve come up with so far is “I don’t want to be like this forever”.
I decorated a box to keep my reasons in, as well as notes of encouragement from family and friends. I’m hoping it will help me stay focused on why I’m doing this. (If I can just figure that part out.) Above is the cover of the box.
I put “gonna be worth it” as a reminder to myself. I’ve been listening to a song called Worth it All to help myself remember that even though it’s hard right now, it’s (hopefully) going to be worth it all.