Questioning recovery

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All through treatment tonight I kept wondering to myself if I really want to recover.

I don’t have an answer.

I’m not feeling particularly motivated.

I keep wondering what is the problem with having an eating disorder, really?

I ate “25%” of my dinner. I contested it was 30%.

Does it really matter whether I ate 25% or 30%?Not in the grand scheme of things.

I refused to boost. I walked out of the dining room angry and frustrated.

The rest of the night was long, boring, and filled with me wondering why I was there.

Do I really want this?

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