Daily Archives: April 4, 2014

My body creates fat spontaneously


This is pretty much how I feel right now.

Apparently, with eating 15% of my dinner, a cup of boost, and a few crackers last night, I managed to gain over a pound yesterday.


Your guess is as good as mine. Probably better than mine.

This definitely doesn’t inspire me to follow my meal plan at all today. I’m going to go back on Monday, get weighed, and they’re going to exclaim about how much weight I’ve gained.


In which I eat nails


This picture sums up how I feel after I eat and don’t purge.

I had a migraine today and it just would not go away no matter what I did. When I went to treatment tonight, I could only finish 15% of my dinner because I was so nauseous, so I had to boost. Luckily, I was allowed to sip it slowly during group.

It’s pretty bad, but not as bad as it was made out to be.

I did notice that after getting some nutrition down, my migraine did start to lesson.

I explained that I haven’t tried following my meal plan at all so far because having to go and eat dinner and a snack and keep them down has been overwhelming enough and I couldn’t even think about trying to keep down anything else.

They suggested that for this weekend, I just focus on trying to eat and keep down one meal a day. So, after I got home, I sat down with my mom and she helped me plan some dinners. I don’t know what order I’ll eat them in, but here’s what I planned out for this weekend. They sound absolutely huge to me, but according to the handouts I got, this is what I’m supposed to eat.

For dinners, I’m supposed to have 2 starches, 3 proteins, 2 fats, 1 fruit, and 1 non-starchy vegetable.

Meal #1:
Hamburger bun, boca burger with a slice of cheese, a side salad with dressing, and a fruit that has yet to be decided.

Meal #2:
1 large or 2 small potatoes, 1 cup hummus, 1 cup carrots, 1 apple, and 4 tbsp peanut butter.

Meal #3:
Mac & Cheese, 1 hard-boiled egg, 1/2 cup green beans, and another undetermined fruit.

So there’s that.

My motivation to actually follow through on this is only so-so.

Tonight for first group we had DBT. It was really good information but, of course, I ended up crying again. I hate that.

Second group was process group. I think I like process group.

Now to try to do things all on my own for the weekend.

I’m going to my brothers’ place tomorrow afternoon and will probably be there through Sunday afternoon. I’m going to take my own meals all pre-portioned and planned out and hopefully that will make it easier.

We got homework tonight to work on over the weekend. I’ll need to find some time to do that this weekend between games.